Returning...

So, yes, I fell off my blogging yet again. I think February was my last entry, and that was actually still in the old blog system. There have definitely been changes since I last put my fingers to the keyboard and typed here: some which I know have been good, others which I'm still trying to come to terms with.

For one thing, I'm no longer at the school that I used to be at. Less than a month before school ended, I learned my contract wasn't going to be renewed...lack of enrollment meant that there only needed to be one sixth grade versus two, and I was the one chosen to go.

After many tears, my heart began to tell me it was ultimately a good thing. There had been growing issues there for awhile, and I began to view it as perhaps a shove in a direction that I wasn't willing to go on my own. After all, for the last 4 or 5 years I've considered moving on, but just have never had the courage to do it (I loved my students and who I worked with).

So, of course, a job search started...and as of this moment...a job search still continues. Lots of applications filled out, emails and resumes sent, and a couple interviews, but no position as of yet.

With a couple interviews just in the past couple days, there still is a chance for a full-time position, but I don't know what will happen. I'm not even sure if I know what I want to happen.

My love of teaching calls me back into the classroom; it feels odd to be at home vs. in the midst of setting things up. BUT at the same time, the last couple years have been increasingly tough; there's been a growing number of days when the energy to do lesson planning or other tasks tied to school (including this blog) has been almost nonexistent. I've come to realize that there is a part of me that truly hates how much of my life for the past nine years, has been tied up in my classroom. I have loved my students and what I have done, but it's come with it's price.

So that part of me, has begun to wonder if I should use this change as a break: i.e. take time to get things back in order, reconnect with friends, travel, etc. and hopefully return to the classroom the following year with a refreshed spirit. But, the main drawback to that plan is, of course, the idea of not having a full-time job this year is pretty scary.

I sorta hope nothing comes of my interviews (then the decision is automatically made for me), but my gut is telling me that's probably not the way it will work out. I'll be honest and say I've got a real mental struggle going on right now: if I have to make a decision, which way do I go? Do I go back to teaching this year (rushing to get a classroom ready to go in 2 or 3 days), or do I use this as a sabbatical of sorts? I really don't know....but at least my interest has returned to blogging... ;)