I received an email this morning that included a section with several teachers responses to the question, "Why do you love to teach?"
It seemed to come at a very opportune time. During the past couple weeks I've been asked several times about why I stay in a job that I seem to complain so much about. And honestly their questions have made me do a lot of thinking about teaching....because, yes, there are many days where I do vent....but, at the same time, there are so many rewards too.
So why do I love to teach?
• Every day is different. There's no boring routine to my job! Every day there's new things happening, new topics being explored, and there are new challenges to face. In fact, in ten years of teaching, I doubt there's ever been two days exactly the same.
• I have the opportunity to watch kids grow. There's nothing better than seeing a student suddenly make a connection, grasp a new concept, or learn something new. I absolutely love, particularly with language arts, seeing a kid suddenly discover they actually love to read, or love to write. I've been blessed with having several parents come up to me and say things like, "She was never much of a reader, but she's reading all the time now" or "I was reading his story and wow, it's pretty good, isn't it?" -- those are fabulous moments! It's amazing to be able to stand by and know that with the right nudges and guidance, I have the opportunity to help students realize their power as writers or the wonderful escape a good book can be. It's those little moments that make everything worth it.
• Being around kids is also fun. They're constantly teaching me new things. I get to hear about great books and great authors. They, particularly through discussions in writing conferences, teach me lessons about topics I'm no expert about (For instance, just this week, I got to learn about all the parts to a skateboard!). They make me smile with some of their stories, comments, and actions. They at times make me laugh. Fundamentally: it's fun to teach.
So while, yes, there are the many challenges I have to face on top of all of that — complaining parents, sometimes demanding administration (who I know are primarily demanding because of what state standards demand), occasionally frustrating students, or heavy bags of schoolwork taken home each evening — the rewards still somehow outweigh the pain. If there ever comes a day when I stand in my classroom, look at the clock and wonder how many more minutes until I get to go home, I'll know that it is time to quit and look for a job elsewhere, but in the meantime, I get to spend 7 hours each day working in a job that for those 7 hours doesn't really feel like work. And that's why I love to teach!
Maybe I should talk about the joys more often, and vent about the frustrations less, but somehow it always seems like the frustrations are the parts I need to get rid of (i.e. talk about) and the joys are the parts that I treasure but that non-teachers don't always understand.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Rambling Thoughts
Ugh! Still fighting this cold germ. Could have gone into school today, but ultimately chose to take a sick day and stay home instead. Thought I might be able to make it a productive work at home day, but in actuality I did very little. I hate unproductive days, especially when I'm feeling already behind on so much!
Overall, it's been a rough month. Yes, the month has had its good points in places, but it's definitely had its not so good points in others. For one, I have felt continually behind on work. I have reading responses that should have been graded today. My online gradebook is out of date. I've got many students to still conference with on their 2nd quarter goals (even though we're already 2 weeks into the quarter!!), and the list could go and on...
My practical sensibilities are very much in conflict with my dreams right now. I love teaching, I do. I'm happy at the school I'm at. I love having the freedom to teach how I want (e.g. through reading & writing workshop) and not being restricted by my administration or forced into some required literacy program (like I know teachers at many schools are).
But I have to be honest and admit I'm getting tired of living and breathing school. I want an identity beyond "teacher". I dream of taking a couple months off and just going somewhere with no particular plan in mind. Talk about an unsensible idea though! I mean, I'm continually being reminded how lucky I am to have even found a good teaching job last year, in the midst of a time when all school systems are currently cutting majorly back. My mind knows that quitting my job to hopefully find another after a "few months off" would be a completely insane thing to do because I probably wouldn't easily find another opening.
Nonetheless, I keep feeling pulled in the direction that a change has to happen soon for my sanity. Yes, I am a teacher, but I want to be a normal person too....
Overall, it's been a rough month. Yes, the month has had its good points in places, but it's definitely had its not so good points in others. For one, I have felt continually behind on work. I have reading responses that should have been graded today. My online gradebook is out of date. I've got many students to still conference with on their 2nd quarter goals (even though we're already 2 weeks into the quarter!!), and the list could go and on...
My practical sensibilities are very much in conflict with my dreams right now. I love teaching, I do. I'm happy at the school I'm at. I love having the freedom to teach how I want (e.g. through reading & writing workshop) and not being restricted by my administration or forced into some required literacy program (like I know teachers at many schools are).
But I have to be honest and admit I'm getting tired of living and breathing school. I want an identity beyond "teacher". I dream of taking a couple months off and just going somewhere with no particular plan in mind. Talk about an unsensible idea though! I mean, I'm continually being reminded how lucky I am to have even found a good teaching job last year, in the midst of a time when all school systems are currently cutting majorly back. My mind knows that quitting my job to hopefully find another after a "few months off" would be a completely insane thing to do because I probably wouldn't easily find another opening.
Nonetheless, I keep feeling pulled in the direction that a change has to happen soon for my sanity. Yes, I am a teacher, but I want to be a normal person too....
Monday, November 14, 2011
Curses on cold germs!
So I complete a wonderful weekend, and actually take some time off from schoolwork, figuring I'll get everything done somehow this week and then....I wake up this morning with definite signs of a cold germ! :(
I hate not feeling well, and especially hate it when I have work that I want to do. I've had a huge pile awaiting me tonight and haven't touched a bit of it. I have this goal to get everything done for this week, next and the following one *all* this week. I want to leave for Thanksgiving break and know that I don't have to touch or worry about schoolwork until I get back. But this little bug that I've picked up was not part of the plan!
I'm still functioning -- went to school today and am planning on teaching tomorrow too -- but definitely am hoping this germ whomever (student or otherwise) gave me will pass by soon. *fingers crossed*
I hate not feeling well, and especially hate it when I have work that I want to do. I've had a huge pile awaiting me tonight and haven't touched a bit of it. I have this goal to get everything done for this week, next and the following one *all* this week. I want to leave for Thanksgiving break and know that I don't have to touch or worry about schoolwork until I get back. But this little bug that I've picked up was not part of the plan!
I'm still functioning -- went to school today and am planning on teaching tomorrow too -- but definitely am hoping this germ whomever (student or otherwise) gave me will pass by soon. *fingers crossed*
Friday, November 11, 2011
11/11/11
The positive: Today is Friday.
The negative: I'm still suffering from a bad mood.
And with a 11/11/11 event to head to soon, I have no more time to write today either, so this will have to count as today's blog entry...
Yea, I know it's short and boring, but in a quest to finish NaBloPoMo, I think it still counts?? ;)
The negative: I'm still suffering from a bad mood.
And with a 11/11/11 event to head to soon, I have no more time to write today either, so this will have to count as today's blog entry...
Yea, I know it's short and boring, but in a quest to finish NaBloPoMo, I think it still counts?? ;)
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Good Cries?
I suppose this entry comes with a warning: I'm not in a good mood tonight.
There's some days when I wonder if anyone (with perhaps the exception of my students & principal) would notice if I dropped off the face of the planet. While I'm not planning to test out the experiment, currently I feel like probably most wouldn't.
The miserable mood I fell into this afternoon, I know was started with simply the loss of a potential perfect rental. I'm in the midst of really wanting to move, and for the past month have been searching for a place that's closer to work and also somewhat larger. There seems to be very limited inventory in the areas I'm looking, so when I discovered one listing that seemed perfect, I got excited. I had an appointment to view the property this afternoon after work, but then a couple hours before the scheduled meeting, the rental agent called and said the property was just rented and therefore our meeting would be canceled. I was immediately disappointed. I hate commuting — especially at this time of year when the days are getting shorter — and I want to move so badly, but I'm starting to think it won't happen. For the price I want to pay, the location I want to be, and the 3 bedrooms (or 2 bedrooms + garage/storage) that I need, I'm just starting to get very discouraged that I'll ever find something. It seems the rare properties that are perfect I'm getting beat out on, and the ones that are available are just too far from perfect to justify the move. I'm tired of my work/guest room being part storage and am definitely tired of having my bike stored in the middle of my kitchen, so the space I can't compromise on, and the location I don't want to either, so I'm feeling very stuck and discouraged.
Put that on top of a general feeling of being overwhelmed with school work (e.g. I don't feel like I ever get a break from having tons to do), and also a feeling of loneliness (losing touch with too many friends from further away, and never really having been able to develop any close friendships here in the town I live now)....and it seems like a lot has combined to make me feel pretty glum tonight.
I've felt it building for the last year or so, but I think so many years of having sooo many hours tied up with school and some general exhaustion over dealing with everything basically alone (i.e. no local support system) has simply got me worn out. I miss my old school where whenever I had a bad day, there was always someone around to listen and give me a hug when I needed it. In my new school, the atmosphere is just very different. My co-workers aren't bad but it seems like there is an environment where most just keep more to themselves. We talk, collaborate, plan, and get along, but on bad days, I have yet to ever find someone who is willing to offer a shoulder and just let me cry or vent for a little while.
So maybe that's what this blog post has turned into today -- a virtual spot to at least vent....and cry...and hope it gets better...
There's some days when I wonder if anyone (with perhaps the exception of my students & principal) would notice if I dropped off the face of the planet. While I'm not planning to test out the experiment, currently I feel like probably most wouldn't.
The miserable mood I fell into this afternoon, I know was started with simply the loss of a potential perfect rental. I'm in the midst of really wanting to move, and for the past month have been searching for a place that's closer to work and also somewhat larger. There seems to be very limited inventory in the areas I'm looking, so when I discovered one listing that seemed perfect, I got excited. I had an appointment to view the property this afternoon after work, but then a couple hours before the scheduled meeting, the rental agent called and said the property was just rented and therefore our meeting would be canceled. I was immediately disappointed. I hate commuting — especially at this time of year when the days are getting shorter — and I want to move so badly, but I'm starting to think it won't happen. For the price I want to pay, the location I want to be, and the 3 bedrooms (or 2 bedrooms + garage/storage) that I need, I'm just starting to get very discouraged that I'll ever find something. It seems the rare properties that are perfect I'm getting beat out on, and the ones that are available are just too far from perfect to justify the move. I'm tired of my work/guest room being part storage and am definitely tired of having my bike stored in the middle of my kitchen, so the space I can't compromise on, and the location I don't want to either, so I'm feeling very stuck and discouraged.
Put that on top of a general feeling of being overwhelmed with school work (e.g. I don't feel like I ever get a break from having tons to do), and also a feeling of loneliness (losing touch with too many friends from further away, and never really having been able to develop any close friendships here in the town I live now)....and it seems like a lot has combined to make me feel pretty glum tonight.
I've felt it building for the last year or so, but I think so many years of having sooo many hours tied up with school and some general exhaustion over dealing with everything basically alone (i.e. no local support system) has simply got me worn out. I miss my old school where whenever I had a bad day, there was always someone around to listen and give me a hug when I needed it. In my new school, the atmosphere is just very different. My co-workers aren't bad but it seems like there is an environment where most just keep more to themselves. We talk, collaborate, plan, and get along, but on bad days, I have yet to ever find someone who is willing to offer a shoulder and just let me cry or vent for a little while.
So maybe that's what this blog post has turned into today -- a virtual spot to at least vent....and cry...and hope it gets better...
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
I'd Rather Stay in the Classroom...
Tomorrow I have to leave my students with a sub. I have a required training that I have to attend. What's the training on, you might ask? Well, it is on teacher evaluation.
Our county is going to a new teacher evaluation system next year and apparently feels it is necessary to provide all those scheduled for evaluation next year with a whole day of training on the new system.
Myself I simply wonder what makes a whole day of training really so necessary? I mean, if you want me to be a good teacher, then allow me to stay in my classroom and teach! While, yes, my students are technically still having reading workshop tomorrow, I know it's not really a true workshop without me also there. There's no sub I yet know who I feel comfortable handing the real reins over to, so while my sub can sit and observe and hopefully keep my kids on task, I can't ask her to be me and wear the conferencing, note-taking, observing and assessing hats that are also a big part my job in workshop each day.
But in missing tomorrow, I don't get a choice in the matter. I reluctantly must resign myself to the fact that I have to leave my kids behind tomorrow (e.g. sacrifice good class time with them), to instead go and spend the entire day listening to whomever tell me about how I'm going to be assessed as teacher next year. Somehow I just don't quite understand the logic behind tomorrow's training, but alas, off I go to it anyways, even I feel my time would be better spent elsewhere...because, yes, I'd definitely rather stay in my classroom.
Our county is going to a new teacher evaluation system next year and apparently feels it is necessary to provide all those scheduled for evaluation next year with a whole day of training on the new system.
Myself I simply wonder what makes a whole day of training really so necessary? I mean, if you want me to be a good teacher, then allow me to stay in my classroom and teach! While, yes, my students are technically still having reading workshop tomorrow, I know it's not really a true workshop without me also there. There's no sub I yet know who I feel comfortable handing the real reins over to, so while my sub can sit and observe and hopefully keep my kids on task, I can't ask her to be me and wear the conferencing, note-taking, observing and assessing hats that are also a big part my job in workshop each day.
But in missing tomorrow, I don't get a choice in the matter. I reluctantly must resign myself to the fact that I have to leave my kids behind tomorrow (e.g. sacrifice good class time with them), to instead go and spend the entire day listening to whomever tell me about how I'm going to be assessed as teacher next year. Somehow I just don't quite understand the logic behind tomorrow's training, but alas, off I go to it anyways, even I feel my time would be better spent elsewhere...because, yes, I'd definitely rather stay in my classroom.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
"Vacation" Over :(
Tomorrow everything goes back to normal. Kids return and my little semi-vacation is over. Having today free to work was sooo nice! While most of what I planned to get done didn't get done, I'm happy with what did. It felt good to leave a classroom today that was cleaned up and better organized.
Of course, having spent most of my day organizing, I still have a pile of papers to grade and lesson plans to complete tonight. I'm having a hard time figuring out what I want to do for the next few days. I'm there with the kids tomorrow, but then Thursday have to stick my kids with a substitute as I have to be out for a training, and then Friday I'm back with them again. The lesson that would come most logically on Thursday, I don't want to leave for a substitute, so I'm stuck trying to decide what to leave for my students to do. I don't think they're quite at the point where I can just give them a full reading workshop day (i.e. 60 minutes of reading), but I hate the idea of leaving them busy work, so what do I do? I don't yet know...
Really the only thing I'm confident about right now is that with work still ahead, I better stop procrastinating and get back to it. Short and boring entry tonight, I know, but hopefully more time to actually write something interesting tomorrow. (?)
Of course, having spent most of my day organizing, I still have a pile of papers to grade and lesson plans to complete tonight. I'm having a hard time figuring out what I want to do for the next few days. I'm there with the kids tomorrow, but then Thursday have to stick my kids with a substitute as I have to be out for a training, and then Friday I'm back with them again. The lesson that would come most logically on Thursday, I don't want to leave for a substitute, so I'm stuck trying to decide what to leave for my students to do. I don't think they're quite at the point where I can just give them a full reading workshop day (i.e. 60 minutes of reading), but I hate the idea of leaving them busy work, so what do I do? I don't yet know...
Really the only thing I'm confident about right now is that with work still ahead, I better stop procrastinating and get back to it. Short and boring entry tonight, I know, but hopefully more time to actually write something interesting tomorrow. (?)
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