Sunday, December 30, 2012

Looking back on 2012

Tonight I'm sitting in a hotel room with the end of my vacation looming.  We're back to school on Wednesday.  The past week has been wonderful.  I feel relaxed and under no stress.  I've had time to enjoy beautiful weather, read a couple great books and even tonight am returning to writing a bit on this blog.

2012 has had its ups and downs.  There have been some great moments and then moments I'd like to forget.  It's been a year of increasing school pressure and a year of feeling increasingly unsettled.  As I return from vacation and look toward 2013, there are many things that are forming themselves into wishful resolutions.

From a school front, I want to live more of the life I ask my students to lead.  Too often in the past I've let other teacher tasks get in the way of the enjoyable reading, the work of a writer and even the blogging that I should be doing.  I'm tired of having to pretend; I need to make the time to do it.  Deep down I suspect it's one of the things that causing me to feel so unfulfilled about my workshops.  I know I can do better and even though planning for and responding to my students is important, I need to balance it—being a reader and a writer myself is equally as important.

I also need to open my eyes for new opportunities.  My heart tells me I'm working for an administration that is never going to take the time to understand what my students and I try to accomplish on a daily basis.  They have a vision and unfortunately I don't seem to fit the mold.  I care enough about what I do as a teacher that the whole situation has had me feeling extra stressed the past few months, and I need to change that.  What that new path is or when/how it will come, I don't know, but I need to keep my eyes open.

And in many ways, that connects with my last wish:  to stretch my personal boundaries.  I have fallen into a rut.  I used to expand my horizons, but I've gotten stuck.  My life has fallen back into being school focused.  I don't have much of an identity beyond "teacher".  The world is out there.  I'm quickly getting older.  I need to embrace life before it passes me by.  I need to spend more time with old friends.  Engage in more activities.  Find ways to meet new friends.  Take better care of myself.  Exercise.  Eat more healthy.  Ultimately (using a quote that's always been one of my favorites), I need to remember to seize each and every day.

In fact, found this on Facebook earlier this evening:

And I think that sums it up very well.  I need to stop making excuses.  I need to live my life...and I think that will be my resolution this coming year.  So bring on 2013!!