I'm waiting on a phone call. I interviewed with two schools earlier this week and they both said they'd try to let me know something by the end of the week. And with my old principal just emailing me this morning to say one of them (the one most ideal) just called her (she's one of my references), there's now this growing feeling inside of me that perhaps something might work out.
Of course, I'm not sure whether that would be a blessing or not. I'm soooo torn about what to do this coming school year.
There's part of me that says I should be grateful for a job and take the position (if offered). PROS: 1. it would teaching 6th grade science and language arts. 2. it wouldn't require an immediate move. 3. being a public school, it would be a higher salary. 4. for a public school, it sounds like a really good group of kids (i.e. principal said major discipline problems aren't very common) 5. the school seems really well-equipped (i.e. principal told me when I asked about tech resources, that basically anything I'd ever want, they have...including projectors mounted in every room). 6. Only basically 2 preps: three science classes and one language arts. CONS: 1. it would be a 30 minute commute to school each morning. 2. it would eliminate me being able to check out Colorado (see below). 3. it would require me to start teaching on Wednesday (only basically 4 days away).
It seems like a job I could live with (even though I'd hate doing the commuting), but I suppose what I'm really afraid of is that totally eliminates the possibility of anything else. For instance: Colorado.
I've talked with a private school in Colorado who seems really interested in me (i.e. they are willing to fly me out so that I can see the school and town first-hand!). It would be a 5th-8th language arts position, at a school that sounds awesome (has a great arts program, and even an outdoor education program that has field trips including hiking, camping, kayaking, etc.) BUT it, of course, has one major con: it would definitely require relocation. I'm not completely against living in Colorado—I think most of it is a beautiful place and there's a big part of me that's been seeking a major change like this. However, that said, I'm not sure I'm ready for a move right now, within the next few weeks. I'm increasingly thinking that could create more stress than what it's worth, but I don't know. I also sometimes wonder if that's just not the voice in my head that is scared to change talking: after all I distinctly remember telling myself that when I took the position at my old school, that it would only be for a couple years, then I'd move on, likely abroad. I ended up staying for 9 years.
Of course, there's a third option to consider, and that's not accepting any of them. It would be tight, but I believe I could manage taking a year off and substituting when possible, tutoring, etc. The big positive there is that it gives me a break...something I've been increasingly dreaming about the past couple years. Having time to get things in order, perhaps take a few grad classes, travel and relax a bit might ultimately be a really good thing for my future. The big con: it's probably the choice most scary.
So, again, I just don't know. I'm waiting on the phone to ring, while at the same time hoping it doesn't. I simply don't know what choice to choose. One moment, one feels the most right, and then a few hours later another does. As I said before, I'm just so torn...